Every day with PH - a caregiver's story

PH is pulmonary hypertension. Three years ago I was as oblivious to the disease as you probably are reading this today. It's something you learn about if it affects you or a loved one. That's a sad truth. 

Three years ago, I met a wonderful young man who was, and still is, everything I had dreamt of in a partner. Marlon was the answer to a prayer. Hindsight is 20/20, and looking back today, I can see that he was sent with a special purpose into my life too. When he had shared the diagnosis of his condition with me ("a heart and lung condition", he typed out to me in a chat conversation), I paused for a very long time, and then typed back, "Ok". It's obvious I didn't understand what he meant, but in my heart, I trusted God to lead me. As we met and interacted more, I found out his limitations, the constant medication he needs, and how he lives through each day hoping for a cure. 

Our next hurdle came to share the news of our relationship with our parents. They reacted well but with trepidation on both sides. Something my mum only shared very recently was her worry for my future. She felt I was investing too much in a partner who may not be there for me in the years to come. I think both our fathers and mothers shared the sentiment at the time. But this is a story of hope. 

The scariest moment in our time together came one week before our wedding. Marlon had been experiencing cramps after starting diuretics, and on that Saturday, he had another cramp in his leg. When he tried to wake up off the bed to stretch his leg out, he barely lifted himself up before he experienced a blackout.
A blackout is not a peaceful fainting episode as seen in period movies. This was a seizure-like attack where my fiance was convulsing in my arms, struggling to breathe. I was terrified I would lose him a week before our nuptials. Slowly, he relaxed and came back to consciousness. In the eternity of those moments, I felt I had surely aged a number of years. My heart was torn as I helped him to regain his strength. God had shown me plainly what PH meant for our lives together.

We were married as planned, and we have grown closer together as husband and wife. The Lord has been incredibly gracious to us both as we have seen amazing miracles performed in our lives. A few months into our married life, we changed our lifestyle completely, switching from our traditional Indian diet and sedentary patterns, to a low-fat diet with regular strength training. Marlon shed all his excess weight and improved his heart muscle condition, so much so that at his next cardiologist visit, his heart pressures had gone down. He is able to exercise, carry himself through his 8-hour workday and commute, and study toward realising his career goals. We have even started designing our own sustainable living home, and planning for a family. 

With PH as a part of our lives, we live for today. It is the gift of God, and while we make plans for the future because He gives us hope, tomorrow is not a given until we wake up next to each other. God has used this to change my heart so dramatically. We resolve our differences quickly, never go to bed without talking and sharing loving words, and I have learnt to be patient. Our lives are not perfect, and I doubt any other couple would want PH just to learn these lessons. This is the cross we bear but it has become our blessing. God has used it to change us both and make us more in His likeness. I thank Him because everything we have placed in His hands, He has increased. In him, we have life, and life abundantly.
Learn more about PH at www.phsa.co.za.