1. Faith and love to walk on water

Tonight I understood the first step in my journey. I had been wondering where to start.. I am Peter, calling out to Jesus to help me walk on water. I know that the way I am now, I will sink if I step out of the boat. I need faith to believe God can do this and can sustain this. I have fleeting moments of faith. My Christian life can be described as bumpy and erratic, similar to when you first learn to ride a bike. Seven attitudes of lukewarm, but still lukewarm. I need more than the flash of faith that makes me get out of the boat. I need to know that I can continue to fix my eyes on Jesus so I won’t begin to sink after that moment passes. I need to abide in the Vine.

I need to love God the way He loves me. Not with human emotion, not way the world loves, not the way love is depicted on television. How wide, how deep is the love of God, can a man ever know it? Yes, I can perceive it by the Spirit of God. He can show me the difference between my attempt and God’s perfection. If I truly perceived the love of God for me and walked in that knowledge daily, I would never entertain a single sinful thought or desire but remain perfectly in the will of God. 

And therein lie the keys, to have Jesus’ faith, I need to abide in Him, and to love Him, I need Him to reveal His love for me. Stay with Him and let Him love me – this is what I have been desiring all this time and failed to realise I have already been given.

My journey to becoming the bride of Christ

In a moment of absolute clarity, which I think is a revelation of the Spirit, the Lord showed/ taught me this. My life has been blessed. I have received a fantastic education, a wonderful career and career path, giftings for service, a loving, happy home with a supportive, believing family, and material possessions. Everything a young person could desire. There is one missing puzzle piece in this charmed life – a partner. I have sought the Lord’s will regarding this for all the years I have known Him and before that, but have received no success for all my efforts. All this time, the yearning for a partner and family of my own grows stronger. So tonight in my moment of absolute clarity, Jesus showed why me I have not been answered… I need to be married to Him first. He is the groom I’ve been searching for, my husband, my defender, protector and provider. He has been courting me all these years and I’ve rejected Him again and again. So all I have built regarding this, He has torn down. I’ve been brought to my foundation, broken-hearted and falling on my face before Him. The idol I made, my personal relationships, He destroyed to build again with Him. I’ve come to surrender the piece of heart & life I was holding back waiting for a man to fill. It is His. He is the one I will bring my sorrows and joy to, my companion, best friend, lover, and all the roles a husband fulfils. God bless you friend if you see yourself in this account, take this journey too, to becoming the bride of Jesus Christ, my partner.