Every day with PH - a caregiver's story

PH is pulmonary hypertension. Three years ago I was as oblivious to the disease as you probably are reading this today. It's something you learn about if it affects you or a loved one. That's a sad truth. 

Three years ago, I met a wonderful young man who was, and still is, everything I had dreamt of in a partner. Marlon was the answer to a prayer. Hindsight is 20/20, and looking back today, I can see that he was sent with a special purpose into my life too. When he had shared the diagnosis of his condition with me ("a heart and lung condition", he typed out to me in a chat conversation), I paused for a very long time, and then typed back, "Ok". It's obvious I didn't understand what he meant, but in my heart, I trusted God to lead me. As we met and interacted more, I found out his limitations, the constant medication he needs, and how he lives through each day hoping for a cure. 

Our next hurdle came to share the news of our relationship with our parents. They reacted well but with trepidation on both sides. Something my mum only shared very recently was her worry for my future. She felt I was investing too much in a partner who may not be there for me in the years to come. I think both our fathers and mothers shared the sentiment at the time. But this is a story of hope. 

The scariest moment in our time together came one week before our wedding. Marlon had been experiencing cramps after starting diuretics, and on that Saturday, he had another cramp in his leg. When he tried to wake up off the bed to stretch his leg out, he barely lifted himself up before he experienced a blackout.
A blackout is not a peaceful fainting episode as seen in period movies. This was a seizure-like attack where my fiance was convulsing in my arms, struggling to breathe. I was terrified I would lose him a week before our nuptials. Slowly, he relaxed and came back to consciousness. In the eternity of those moments, I felt I had surely aged a number of years. My heart was torn as I helped him to regain his strength. God had shown me plainly what PH meant for our lives together.

We were married as planned, and we have grown closer together as husband and wife. The Lord has been incredibly gracious to us both as we have seen amazing miracles performed in our lives. A few months into our married life, we changed our lifestyle completely, switching from our traditional Indian diet and sedentary patterns, to a low-fat diet with regular strength training. Marlon shed all his excess weight and improved his heart muscle condition, so much so that at his next cardiologist visit, his heart pressures had gone down. He is able to exercise, carry himself through his 8-hour workday and commute, and study toward realising his career goals. We have even started designing our own sustainable living home, and planning for a family. 

With PH as a part of our lives, we live for today. It is the gift of God, and while we make plans for the future because He gives us hope, tomorrow is not a given until we wake up next to each other. God has used this to change my heart so dramatically. We resolve our differences quickly, never go to bed without talking and sharing loving words, and I have learnt to be patient. Our lives are not perfect, and I doubt any other couple would want PH just to learn these lessons. This is the cross we bear but it has become our blessing. God has used it to change us both and make us more in His likeness. I thank Him because everything we have placed in His hands, He has increased. In him, we have life, and life abundantly.
Learn more about PH at www.phsa.co.za. 

The blessing of single life

Here is a wonderful word of encouragement for single life, promoting dedication to God as you trust Him for your life.  It provides hope for what is a blessed time of devotion to the Lord.  May it help you on your journey.  26 Sep 2010

Marriage Rights (7)

Live joyfully with the wife whom you love... Ecclesiastes 9:9

What if you're single, looking for a mate and haven't found one yet? God created Eve specifically for Adam. 'Then...He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh..."' (Genesis 2:22-23 NKJV). When God brings you the right person, a spiritual and emotional bonding will take place. When you try to get ahead of Him you end up with regrets and recriminations. Peter de Vries explains it this way, 'The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.' So, wait on God! When God looked across eternity He saw you. He gave you certain traits and abilities that make you unique. He knew exactly who you would need to help fulfil His purposes and develop the gifts He's given you. Until that happens, remember, He is your spiritual partner! He's been caring for you all along: protecting you, providing for you and directing your steps, right? So be careful how you treat Him. If you can't keep your vow to the Lord, it's doubtful you'll keep it to anybody else. Speaking to those who are single, Paul writes, 'Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called...Do not be concerned about it...rather use it' (1 Corinthians 7:20-21 NKJV). Stop wrestling with your singleness and use this time to develop your relationship with God. Never forget that one of the greatest visitations of the Holy Spirit happened to a single, small-town girl named Mary, proving that when you trust God's timing He always sends you the best!

© 2010: This devotional is produced by UCB, free of charge through the generosity of our supporters. As a gift to the body of Christ, permission is given to Churches and Christian organisations to copy up to a maximum of 52 daily excerpts per year. Excerpts must acknowledge The Word For Today as the source, give the UCB address and inform that free issues of the daily devotional are available for the UK and Republic of Ireland.

Losing a life

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it" Mark 8:35

I have been contemplating these words for the last while, trying to truly understand what losing a life means, the true meaning of these words as they apply to my life. Many scriptures flood my mind. The Lord asks us to forsake all others to follow Him, to love God with everything in our being, and Paul instructs us to use the things of the world but not be consumed by them. All asking us to set aside what we ‘have’ in this life and set our hearts on eternity. That is one aspect, to be free from our bondage to all things temporal and decaying.

There is another aspect that refers to our daily living and thought patterns. Our thoughts need also to be fixed on God. True, there are essentials of life, which require our capacities. We need to think while at work, focus on our driving, concentration when attending home duties. Between these are moments where our minds are free to wander and contemplate other things. We fill these moments with all manner of thoughts. There also sometimes things that consume our thoughts, distracting us from our primary focus, love for God. These thought patterns need first to be brought into submission, that is surrendered as incorrect, and then consciously changed to dwell and meditate on the Lord, His work in our life, and His word. I read only a few pages of a powerful book that has altered my attitude to my thought life, ‘the practice of the presence of God’ by Brother Lawrence. It’s an old, and incredibly popular, text at the core of which lies an amazing truth. We can experience the presence of the Lord at all times, and know unbroken fellowship with the indwelling spirit as Jesus did. What a revolutionary thought it was to my milk-nourished mind! I sought to take this as a principle into my Christian walk, consciously drawing my mind to the nearness of God and His willingness to meet with me constantly, at any time, with no ceremony.

Expanding on this principle in this context, anything that draws your thoughts away is then breaking your fellowship with the Lord, and to be disciplined. And in this sense, these errant thoughts need to submit to Christ’s Lordship and perfect will, granting you peace over them and then continuing to draw ever closer.

And so the Lord has revealed that to lose my life for Him is to surrender my will and my thoughts and all the physical constraints of my life into His hands that He may work in all things as is right for me.

Revelations 12:11 has a passage I love that inspires endurance in faith for me. It talks about the saints in heaven who stood fast until they received their eternal reward, ‘for they did love their lives so much as to shrink from death’. Loving my life means raising an idol in front from my worship of God, this nullifies my praise, song, service, sacrifice and testimony and endangers my covering of grace. I’m striving to keep the first command, Love God first and surrender my love for the things of the world.

1. Faith and love to walk on water

Tonight I understood the first step in my journey. I had been wondering where to start.. I am Peter, calling out to Jesus to help me walk on water. I know that the way I am now, I will sink if I step out of the boat. I need faith to believe God can do this and can sustain this. I have fleeting moments of faith. My Christian life can be described as bumpy and erratic, similar to when you first learn to ride a bike. Seven attitudes of lukewarm, but still lukewarm. I need more than the flash of faith that makes me get out of the boat. I need to know that I can continue to fix my eyes on Jesus so I won’t begin to sink after that moment passes. I need to abide in the Vine.

I need to love God the way He loves me. Not with human emotion, not way the world loves, not the way love is depicted on television. How wide, how deep is the love of God, can a man ever know it? Yes, I can perceive it by the Spirit of God. He can show me the difference between my attempt and God’s perfection. If I truly perceived the love of God for me and walked in that knowledge daily, I would never entertain a single sinful thought or desire but remain perfectly in the will of God. 

And therein lie the keys, to have Jesus’ faith, I need to abide in Him, and to love Him, I need Him to reveal His love for me. Stay with Him and let Him love me – this is what I have been desiring all this time and failed to realise I have already been given.

My journey to becoming the bride of Christ

In a moment of absolute clarity, which I think is a revelation of the Spirit, the Lord showed/ taught me this. My life has been blessed. I have received a fantastic education, a wonderful career and career path, giftings for service, a loving, happy home with a supportive, believing family, and material possessions. Everything a young person could desire. There is one missing puzzle piece in this charmed life – a partner. I have sought the Lord’s will regarding this for all the years I have known Him and before that, but have received no success for all my efforts. All this time, the yearning for a partner and family of my own grows stronger. So tonight in my moment of absolute clarity, Jesus showed why me I have not been answered… I need to be married to Him first. He is the groom I’ve been searching for, my husband, my defender, protector and provider. He has been courting me all these years and I’ve rejected Him again and again. So all I have built regarding this, He has torn down. I’ve been brought to my foundation, broken-hearted and falling on my face before Him. The idol I made, my personal relationships, He destroyed to build again with Him. I’ve come to surrender the piece of heart & life I was holding back waiting for a man to fill. It is His. He is the one I will bring my sorrows and joy to, my companion, best friend, lover, and all the roles a husband fulfils. God bless you friend if you see yourself in this account, take this journey too, to becoming the bride of Jesus Christ, my partner.